Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum

  (212): View more from New York

  i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum (212): i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls http://tfl.nu/3qj9
  Replies (8) Good night (891) Bad night (1427)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing? http://tfl.nu/g5e5
  Replies (1) Good night (1080) Bad night (568)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  i'm signing you up for texting rehab

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): i'm signing you up for texting rehab http://tfl.nu/wf7t
  Replies (4) Good night (642) Bad night (783)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (806): So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs. http://tfl.nu/g178
  Replies (36) Good night (4076) Bad night (602)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay http://tfl.nu/llvu
  Replies (14) Good night (817) Bad night (5212)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep http://tfl.nu/2p4s
  Replies (17) Good night (5585) Bad night (960)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks" http://tfl.nu/r0yt
  Replies (26) Good night (6434) Bad night (920)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out. http://tfl.nu/a3dj
  Replies (13) Good night (987) Bad night (3029)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever. http://tfl.nu/wct5
  Replies (15) Good night (1268) Bad night (5699)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night. http://tfl.nu/b0w0
  Replies (4) Good night (2440) Bad night (1197)
• Favorite

  (65): View more from

  Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (65): Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job. http://tfl.nu/eg09
  Replies (4) Good night (584) Bad night (1025)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women. http://tfl.nu/axeg
  Replies (7) Good night (896) Bad night (446)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb... http://tfl.nu/trz3
  Replies (11) Good night (2219) Bad night (548)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard. http://tfl.nu/3loy
  Replies (9) Good night (376) Bad night (1094)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  So much rum. So many feels.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): So much rum. So many feels. http://tfl.nu/mt6s
  Replies (0) Good night (583) Bad night (248)

Randomize