Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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