Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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