Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
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what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
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Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
do nipples grow back?
Randomize