awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
