its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
