she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
