I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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