Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize