i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
