I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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