Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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