I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
