WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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