I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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