Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
When did angry sex become our thing?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Damn victory sex feels great
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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