i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
