Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
