I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
