Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
