Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
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we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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