I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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