I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
