When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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