I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I smell like Dick and happiness
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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