Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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