So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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