Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
