My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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