he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
