wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
dude. I can hear the air.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
