AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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