Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
