My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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