What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
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I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
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She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.