have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
