I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
