that's an acceptable place to lick
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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