So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
