TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
