If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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