P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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