he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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