let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I think I sprained my soul last night
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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