She said her name was "party"
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
