not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I have fence marks all over my body
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
