my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
