I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
OPIZZABONMYDICK
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I love you. Go after that dick
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
