Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
