my soul wont recognize me after tonight
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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