I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you mean i was at the winter classic?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
