you guys were way drunker than both of me
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
