In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
