Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
