so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I believe in your delicious
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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