so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
