you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
that is very illegal...i love you.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
