Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
