You don't have asthma, your pregnant
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
